I sit here again,
Over a decade later.
My beloved rooftop.
My fortress of solitude.
My former home away from the stresses of life.
I close my eyes,
Shut out the visual perception.
Experiencing only my other senses:
the cold, after-rain wind across my face,
The smell of fresh, unpolluted air,
The sounds from this hideaway in the sky, and down below too:
birds chattering away,
the group at a rally,
police sirens –
probably on their way
to limit the danger
that the maddening crowd of student protestors may unleash
once their motivational gathering concludes.
The protests are an annual event in higher education these days.
And while they marched this morning,
Shutting down classes,
Setting off fire alarms in every building,
Their behaviour never justifies the ends they seek.
But they don’t bother me.
For now,
like years gone by,
I am divorced
from the reality and concerns of everyday life.
A starling sits a few metres away,
perched on the edge of this towering edifice.
Behind him, the bay
and crashing waves –
calm and serene to me,
yet powerful and deafening where they break.
The grey sky is clearing,
A morning full of much-needed rain,
now followed by an afternoon
that mixes blue, grey, white, and every shade in between
into a melting pot of aerial wonder.
The clouds appear still,
yet the strength of the wind up here
tells me that they are headed for other lands.
Perhaps places yet to feel the mercy of their life-giving water.
Places still dying of thirst
In this drought-ridden province we share at this moment.
They can leave –
float away to pastures anew.
But I cannot,
Being tied to a life of my own choosing.
One so far –
in both time and personal circumstance –
from my former days up here.
The sun shines through a cloud behind me,
Towering high above human civilisation,
Rays piercing through crevices in the mighty mountain –
Cape Town’s world-famous landmark,
Now no longer a wonder to me…
just a part of my everyday life as a citizen of this fine locality.
Sirens emerge once more,
urgency in the air.
Will the riots resume?
Should I leave now? Before I’m stuck on campus –
too scared to depart through unruly crowds
who don’t discriminate,
venting their rage upon anyone in sight who isn’t with their cause.
Perhaps this is a reflection of life itself:
stolen moments of peace,
interrupted by the chaos of life’s problems.
But regardless thereof,
My beloved perch remains here.
High above all worries and fears,
reminding me of the possibilities –
the freedom of mind –
that remains my goal –
to bring back the balance,
an escape from reality…
even if only for a few, stolen moments.
Eyes closed.
Senses engaged.
I sit for a minute or two –
taking it all in.
No fear of anyone else coming upon me.
No invasion of this precious, private solitude.
And then,
slowly,
I open my eyes again.
Take in the splendour of all before me –
seeing it almost with new eyes,
the same world –
but a new feeling,
a new perspective.
For what is reality but mere perception?
And each of us
can change that perception,
if only we created the conditions
and made the efforts
to experience life differently.
Worlds within worlds.
The possibilities are endless.
But only,
only,
in these few, stolen moments.
Date written:
October 2017
Background:
This is my most recent piece, written unexpectedly at the end of a day on my university campus. I was able to access my favourite hideaway once more – the place that had been so central to my inner peace and creativity back when I worked in these surroundings. It was a pleasant surprise to make it back, and one that allowed me the mental breathing room I so often lack in everyday life.
The riots referred to are the annual ‘Fees Must Fall’ protests, which kicked off its third consecutive round on this campus the day before. For the first time, I was caught on main campus when the protesters entered buildings, announced their intentions, and set off fire alarms to evacuate every student and staff member hoping to make productive use of their day in this sensitive time of year.
The piece also touches on the extreme drought Cape Town is facing – the worst in a century – where fears of water rationing have already manifested, and political differences threaten the authorities’ ability to minimise the chances of dams running dry.
Every problem is a big problem these days, it seems. But I was grateful to find temporary refuge from life…able to experience, as I did all those years ago, a way to escape the pressure and enjoy solitude. To be at peace, once again, even though it was only for a short sojourn.
slip-sliding away..... 
“For what is reality but mere perception?”
Absolutely genius. The way you write is amazing. You make sure that the reader experiences every sensation.
I hope things get better there, though. May you find the peace inside, outside too.
JazakAllah. I actually think my descriptive writing is somewhat lacking, because I haven’t really developed my vocab for a long, long time. Glad it had an impact thought.
Personally, I enjoy it because it is unique to you! But of course, one should never stop learning!
This is brilliant, maShaAllah‼️⭐️ May Allah SWT constantly increase you🙏 Āmīn.
Going back is always so bittersweet. On random days I have flashes of my favourite places during times gone by. They’re triggered by the most random things – a smell mostly, and even the way the sun lights the sky on an Autumn afternoon can evoke the most vivid memories. I’m glad you were able to go back, even if it was only for a little while.