slip-sliding away…..

Here’s another piece from my book – Let it Flow. If you like what you read, please consider purchasing the full book. The details are at the end of this post.

---

The Life to Come

Once upon a time,
there was a boy who lived all alone.
Up on the 3rd floor,
where the space and time was his own.

But despite his freedom,
the boy lived in a prison:
a set of routines, habits, and permanent preferences
– things he held himself to –
walls of the invisible cage
that had sprung up around him over the years.

At times, discontent would seep in.
He’d wallow in the loneliness
and become frustrated
at the predictability of how he spent his time.

He felt there was so much more he could do –
wanted to do –
but he was holding himself back:
letting his past (fears) restrain his present
from the things he would love to immerse himself in:

Sitting by the ocean.
Gazing out on the world from atop a mountain.
Existing. Being still. In the serenity of gardens.
Sleeping under the stars.
Standing on the pier, far from the security of land –
allowing himself to fear the vast and shapeless ocean:
the great unknown.

All these and more, he wished to explore –
yet he longed for a companion to share in these moments.

Though he wished to experience such peace on his own too;
for solitude and isolation from the world was a lifelong companion to him –
having been the shy and inhibited little boy that still lived inside of him.

He had many dreams, too.
Dreams he thought sacred: a different life, beyond the known existence of this world.

He’d look forward to his visits to that world,
and somehow, he knew his soul lived there too:
he’d have flashes, while awake,
of the life he lived outside of his earthly existence.

Last night, he dreamed of a child – a precious little one –
he’d so dearly love to befriend one day.

Another time, he was about to become a father.

He never dreamed of his wife, or their marriage –
but he was fascinated, thrilled,
by the idea that they were already a couple.

Already together – as had been their destiny for all of time.
Just not in this space and time, yet.

In his prayers, he would sometimes ask God
to convey his love to his wife-to-be: his soulmate.

He would also ask God to speak to the precious little souls
that he and his wife would be blessed with
in years to come.

He didn’t plan his future –
but he had his dreams;
his ideas;
and he cherished the life and new family traditions they would all share.

All this in the present, with no knowledge
that these dreams would come true.

But Faith was his friend.
And Hope was his companion.
And Love lived in his soul.

And as he passed each day,
and the present held so many gifts,
he accepted the blessings he received,
and was thankful for them,

While they would soon become the past,
the moments in time he’d had
would forever be there,
and he waited for his future to unfold –

for he was not yet home,
but merely living in the prelude,
all that was needed to prepare him
for the Life to come.

---

Date written: March 2007

Background:

I lived alone for a number of years, and struggled, at times, with some OCD-like tendencies. They trapped me inside an invisible, self-made prison of my mind: a set of physical and mental routines which were difficult to break free of.

This caused much of my discontent in these years, yet through this, I dreamed of freedom – of life beyond those imaginary, constricting walls.

Dreams played a big role in my life at the time. The Islamic tradition teaches us that sleep is a ‘minor death’: when we go to sleep, our soul actually departs from our body – returning when we wake up. Nobody knows where the soul goes, but in those years, I felt a strange sense of familiarity with my own dream life – the place where my soul would go on those slumbering journeys.

I wouldn’t remember much from those dreams, but when I was awake – in brief moments – things would happen that would remind me of those supposedly-forgotten dream experiences. And I’d remember those dreams again. They’d feel so real – like I’d actually experienced it while I was awake.

My theory is that I was actually remembering that other world. The world where my soul goes to at night – when I sleep…when I dream. And these flashes were simply memories of a reality which was beyond rational explanation. A real, alternate – parallel – life that this soul of mine was living while my body rested. Incidentally, that’s where my pen name – “Dreamlife” – came from.

This was also a period in which my greatest pursuit was marriage. And in this quest, I was always encouraged by the concept of destiny. Our Creator already knows what each of our destinies will be. That’s not to say that He made all our choices for us – because we have free will to do as we please, and our life’s journey proceeds in different paths as a result of our choices.

But what those choices are, God alone knows. Long before we choose. Long before we were even born, actually.

And so, in our world – from our limited viewpoint – the future is a mystery: an unknown series of events yet to come. But God is the Creator of time and space, and to Him, it is all known. Our past, present, future…it’s all the same – it’s all within His knowledge.

So I think of the future as something that has already happened. It’s a done deal – because destiny is already set out. We just don’t know what that destiny is, and what series of choices and events will lead us to those milestones.

For me, my marriage – and fatherhood – was already set out. I believed that it would happen. It had already happened. But, in this physical world we live in – governed by the laws of time – I just hadn’t reached that inevitable milestone yet.

So I just needed to be patient, do my best, and wait until I reached that point of my destiny. Because my life – as it stood at that point – was merely a prelude to the fulfilment of the dream I held onto so dearly for all those years.

Image source

---

The full book – Let it Flow – is available electronically via Amazon Kindle, Google Play Books, Apple Books, Kobo, and more. A print edition is available in South Africa via direct order.

If you’d like to see more, click the image below for a comprehensive sample: