Continuing our Ramadaan series, this post continues the book entitled “Purification of the Heart: Signs, Symptoms and Cures of the Spiritual Diseases of the Heart” – Shaykh Hamza Yusuf Hanson‘s translation and commentary of Imam Muḥammad Mawlūd’s didactic poem “Matharat al-Qulub” (purification of the heart). The Imam was a 19th century Mauritanian scholar. For notes on the copyright status of the book, as well as links to purchase your own copy, please see the introductory post of the series.
Blameworthy Modesty
POEM VERSES 67–72 As for blameworthy modesty, it is that which prevents one from denouncing the condemnable or from asking a question concerning A matter relating to religion and the like. For this reason, it is considered a harmful quality. As for noble modesty, [it is] such as the Chosen One’s behavior the night he married Zaynab, When he fed his company to their full from his wedding feast, and they all left except for three. They lingered, yet he did not request that they leave. Such modesty is a most excellent virtue. Had modesty been a person, it would have been a righteous one and would do nothing but good in whatever it did.
Definition
In general, modesty is something praised in Islam and is considered virtuous. Modesty becomes blameworthy if it prevents one from denouncing what clearly should be denounced, such as tyranny or corruption. This form of modesty results in meekness at a time when one needs to be forthright and courageous. Something condemnable (munkar) is condemnable regardless of the status of the person who is engaged in it—whether he or she is a close relative or a person of status, wealth, or authority.
There must be agreement, however, among scholars on what is condemnable. One cannot, for example, declare decisively that something is considered condemnable if there is a difference of opinion on it among the scholars. Scholars knowledgeable of the plentitude of juristic differences rarely condemn others. They refrain from such condemnation not because of modesty but because of their extensive knowledge and scholarly insight.
Unfortunately, many people today are swift to condemn, which creates another disease: self-righteousness.
Blameworthy modesty results in timid failure to denounce what unequivocally deserves denouncement or to ask about important matters from those who are knowledgeable. The Prophet’s wife ʿĀ’ishah once said, “The best women were the women of the Anṣār because modesty did not prevent them from learning the religion.” A woman once came to the Prophet asking a specific question about menstruation. The Prophet
answered her, but the woman persisted in asking for more detail. The Prophet
then asked ʿĀ’ishah to show the woman what he meant, for it was awkward for him. Some women even sent the cloth used for their menstrual protection to seek out with certainty what constitutes the beginning and the end of the menses, which determines whether or not certain rites of worship may be resumed. Most women would not feel comfortable with that, but the modesty of these women did not prevent them from seeking out knowledge about their religious affairs.
The Imam speaks next of virtuous modesty which is rooted in generosity and kindness; this is an acceptable kind of modesty. He gives the example of the behavior of the Prophet when he married Zaynab. The Prophet
invited people for a wedding ceremony and meal. The guests came but lingered in his presence much longer than necessary. In fact, three of them remained late into the evening. The Prophet
, in his generosity, stayed with them and patiently waited for his guests to complete their visit. The guests, however, tarried with the Prophet
because they loved his company. At one point, the Prophet
stood up, left the room, and then came back, hinting as gently as possible that they should depart. But they sill lingered. He did this again, and then a verse was revealed with regard to the etiquette of being in another’s home— an admonition that the Prophet
himself was too shy and generous to deliver: “[Believers], when you are invited, then enter. And when you have completed the meal, disperse, and do not linger on for conversation. This used to hurt the Prophet, but he shied away from [telling] you. But God is not shy of the truth” (QUR’AN , 33:53). This verse applies, in particular, to visiting people whose obligations and time constraints are greater than others, such as statesmen and scholars. They may also feel shy about cutting visits short when they are the hosts.
The Prophet was too modest to tell his guests that it was time to leave. It was out of his generosity and benevolence that he did not address his guests this way. Of course, some people would feel no consternation at all in asking their guests to leave, and they would do so in unambiguous terms. Imagine then how pure and wonderful was the Prophet
, the final Messenger sent to humanity, a man bestowed with great authority from God Himself, yet he was still too shy to request his loitering guests to leave on his wedding night. The Imam concludes this section saying that had modesty been a man, he would have been a righteous man whose actions would always be virtuous.
slip-sliding away..... 