slip-sliding away…..

Today will be
14 hours 25 minutes and 6 seconds.
Tomorrow
the same.
The longest days
of an agonisingly long year.

One that started in holiday mode,
in a land of lightning and thunderstorms,
potholes,
and a sleepy town
which offered rest
but numbed the mind beyond compare.

Onward
to magnificent landscapes
and incredible waterfalls;
God’s natural bounties in abundance,
ironically housed
in lands whose people
were materially desperate –
financial means fleeting,
despite the boon of tourist income.

From there,
the moon followed me home
to an uneasy dwelling
which would need many more months
(on top of those already spent)
until it was finally settled,
after my previous fortress of solitude
was lost.

A contractor circus
which brought stress upon strife,
disasters and fights…
unwelcome pressures
piling onto other,
pre-existing dramas
which spiraled as the months passed.

The release of a book –
a year-in-the-making dream come true
providing a brief highlight
whose radiance soon faded;
personal expectation mismatched
with the reality
of an un-reading public…
or, perhaps,
a target audience not found.
However,
the disappointment was partially tempered
by the surprise of a previous literary baby
making it halfway around the world,
to a library I never dreamed it would reach.

More dramas
and a sad departure.
Constant, drip-fed house renovations,
and never-ending admin –
the burdens stacking up,
weighing heavily
on a spirit yearning to escape it all.

A medical emergency –
the most painful night of my life;
and eventual surgery,
followed by an excruciating
(yet rejuvenating)
recovery.

And just when it seemed
that the year would slide
into an easy conclusion,
a fateful few seconds
I wish I could have prevented:
crime striking those dearest to me;
trauma imposed
on the most vulnerable,
followed
by more admin mountains
and heightened insecurity…
nights
a time of terror;
feeling exposed –
so vulnerable –
whenever the sun departs…
previous traumas resurrected,
even though the scars
have long since healed.

And now,
10 days remain.
10 days to survive
until the year’s closing
will (hopefully)
open brighter chapters…